Fishing for compliments means trying to get people give you compliments. Barbara loved fishing for compliments. usually says something bad about herself so that will feel bad about her and give her . She would say something like "I look so in this dress." Her friends would say, "No, don't! You look great!" Barbara has done this much. One day, one of her friends said, ", you always say bad things about yourself and keep telling you the opposite." After that, Barbara to stop fishing for compliments.

It was hard stop though. She felt like the compliments boosted low self-esteem. Her therapist suggested that she write a list of things she liked about herself. was hard. She would write one thing and cross it out. Her therapist then asked her write down a list of compliments she received other people, which was easier. She wrote things "smart," and "kind." "Do you think these compliments true?" she asked. "Some of them," Barbara said. ", I want you to write down why people say you're smart or kind," the therapist said.

"smart," Barbara wrote that she has straight As, a lot of books for fun, and watches news, For "kind," Barbara wrote that she helps people cross the street, opens the door for , and volunteers at the homeless shelter. "Good job! you can see why you are smart and , and start to believe it," she said. Barbara . Writing down the reasons helped her.